ESL undergrads write the darnedest things

From yesterday's final exam:

"[Henry VIII] began the Church of England so he could divorce Catherine of Aragon because she did not have any mail hairs to the throne."

Please, do not spew your rage-induced vomit over my blog

I am but a messenger for the American media's doucheocrats.


TUCKER CARLSON: I'm surprised there was anybody left in Canada to attend the protests. I noticed that most sort of vigorous, ambitious Canadians, at least almost all comedians in Canada, come to the United States in the end. Doesn't that tell you something about the sort of limpid, flaccid nature of Canadian society, that people with ambition come here? What does that tell you about Canada?

*******

ANN COULTER: They better hope the United States doesn't roll over one night and crush them. They are lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent.

***

ELLIS HENICAN [Newsday columnist]: We share a lot of culture and a lot of interests. Why do we want to have to ridicule them and be deeply offended if they disagree with us?
COULTER: Because they speak French.

I once tried to express "A Night in Tunisia" in a game of Jenga

Coltrane meets Simon.

I'll say it again, people:

Eww.

Outstanding

This is pretty fucking brilliant, especially for the invention of a "pep squad."